Former Essendon player Brent Prismall says he believes the banned drug Thymosin Beta 4 (TB4) was indeed part of the disgraced supplements program that has left him and 33 teammates serving doping bans.

The 29-year-old is serving a season-long doping suspension that has left him unemployed and deeply affected. He consulted with numerous other banned players before speaking to the ABC.

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“I got taught from a young age not to be a cheat from my parents,” Prismall said.

“It’s hard to deal with. Just the way it’s all played out. I find it hard not to be embarrassed by it.

“It’s hard to take when you are called a drug cheat and I’ve been called that. It’s not ideal, but facts are facts. I’m not working, I’m not playing footy this year and that’s the reason why.”

Prismall does not know what he was injected with during his participation in the Essendon supplements program, which began for him late in 2011 while recovering from injury.

“No I don’t, no. My biggest stress is the fact you can’t give any clarity on what you’ve been given,” he said.

“That’s for my wife as well. She’s clearly curious about it. My parents as well. They scratch their heads and wonder ‘How do you not know what you’ve been given?’

“I don’t know what I’ve been given. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t actually think about it in some way shape or form.”

What he was told by Essendon’s sports science staff at the time, he now knows not to be true.

“Whether I was administered TB4, I’m serving a ban for it so the powers above think that I have,” he said.

Q: Is it possible that you were?

Prismall: It’s possible, yeah. I don’t think I did, but it is possible.

Q: Are you now of the understanding that Dank had Thymosin Beta 4 at Essendon?

Prismall: From what I know, yes, he quite possibly would have had it. I’m serving a ban for taking it. I’ve lost my job because of it. I’ve lost my footy career because of it. Lost a whole heap of other things, possibly some respect within footy circles. It does trouble me, yes.

Prismall has followed his cases and his fate in forensic detail.

He has read with horror the emails between Stephen Dank and Dean Robinson agreeing to disguise the true nature of the supplements being administered by referring to them as “vitamin injections and amino acids”.

“I think there’s a massive level of deception by those people,” Prismall concluded.

“It certainly feels like we were guinea pigs in all this. Every time I got an injection I asked what it was. I’m not sure what more there is for me to do in that situation.”

Prismall was in his fourth year with the Bombers, having previously played with Geelong.

He was battling injury, scratching and clawing to keep his place on the list. He did not play a senior game in 2012 and was then delisted.

He was one of the players called in November to give evidence at the Court of Arbitration for Sport (CAS) hearing.

He recalled it as a stressful day in an intimidating atmosphere.

As he sat in the Sydney hearing, WADA detailed its case for a guilty finding and reality hit Prismall hard.

“I thought the case was in trouble. It highlighted to me the fact that it was real and that it was a possibility that I could be missing some football,” he said.

‘I wasn’t trying to hide anything at all’

With an unmistakable sense that he was on trial, Prismall took the stand.

“I was shown my Doping Control Form from a drug test I did in December 2011. I didn’t have Thymosin on there,” he said.

“I was asked why I didn’t. And I couldn’t answer it. I said: ‘I’m not sure why.’ I’m still not sure why. I wasn’t trying to hide anything at all. I just didn’t write it down. I’m clearly serving a ban and that’s part of the reason why.”

This was common across each player called and the CAS judges used it as a central thread in the guilty verdict.

The Doping Control Forms of each player featured more than one set of handwriting, but none declared the substance Thymosin.

Asked if the players knew enough not to reveal its use in the program, Prismall denied a conspiracy of silence.

“I’m smart enough to know that it looks like that. But I know there were no players that were concealing that information because we were trying to hide it,” he said.

‘My boots are still sitting in my locker’

Despite the public pledges from Essendon to support the banned 34, Prismall spoke for those no longer in the club’s employ who feel a sense of abandonment.

“I think we’re in this position because of the football club.

“I understand that Essendon’s priorities are with the players that they still employ, but given the circumstances I think they could have done more along the way,” he said.

“I get a phone call off someone from time to time, but it’s a pretty vague sort of phone call, it’s of no substance.”

When he and Stewart Crameri sought outside legal representation, Essendon refused to continue to cover their costs.

The issue of compensation is particularly acute for the father-of-two, who currently has no income and is looking for work.

There is an abandoned pair of footy boots in a locker at the Western Bulldogs VFL club rooms which speaks to the abruptness of Prismall’s circumstance.

He was to have spent the season playing alongside the young Dogs at Footscray, while working as a welfare officer within the AFL club.

“The finding came down on the Tuesday. I had training that night. Obviously I didn’t go.

“I haven’t had a chance to speak to any of my VFL teammates face to face. My boots are still sitting in my locker. Things like that are quite raw,” Prismall said.

“I don’t feel defeated, but I certainly feel deflated from it. At a point in time I’ll be able to move on. That’s not right now.”